Ready or Not

I hear people say a lot, when I'm ready, about things.

And I say it too.

We say, I'll step out of this dead end job, when I'm ready. I'll start living my life more devoted to God, when I'm ready. I'll start this new diet, when I'm ready. I'll be more honest about my situation, when I'm ready. I'll forgive this person, when I'm ready. I'll reach out to that person, when I'm ready. I'll stop being sad about xyz, when I'm ready. I'll shake this depression, when I'm ready. I'll confront my past, when I'm ready. I'll start healing from my emotional scars, when I'm ready. I'll stop smoking, when I'm ready. I'll give up this addiction, when I'm ready. I'll get pregnant, when I'm ready. I'll stay pregnant, when I'm ready. I'll have baby number 2, 3 or 4, when I'm ready.

But is there ever a RIGHT time? In some instances, yes.
But in most, no.

If we're honest with ourselves, there's always something getting in the way of us doing the right thing or preventing us from being ready.

Pregnancy and raising children freaks a lot of us out. It's like, WOA. That's why many of us go running in all different directions when it stumbles upon us... when we're not ready.

Although I think it's funny that I hear so many of my friends say, "All my life I tried not to get pregnant, now that I'm trying to get pregnant, I can't!" So what happens when we think we're ready for something, but that thing or scenario isn't ready for us?

I thank God Cub was born when I was not ready!
Sure we were "planning" on getting pregnant and starting to put everything into place. I'm not talking about logistics, etc. I'm talking about ME. The big fat self-centered me.
Sure, I believed I was ready. But the core of my being was not. And I'm STILL not...

Now, now, before you start thinking I'm doubting my ability to mother or spiraling into some deep, dark place, let be clarify. By not being ready, I mean I am relieved I don't have all the answers. That I'm still in a vulnerable enough place to be open to growth. See, if I was ever fully ready to be a mother, I would be perfect. Which we know is not possible.

Motherhood, just like marriage and any other strong relationship, acts as a mirror. It shows us a true reflection of our self. It's like a reflection of our self in High-Definition. We see every little flaw, freckle, mole, blemish, pore, glistening drop of sweat, and of course also the minute details that make us so unique and beautiful too!

In being a mom, I can no longer be stuck in the YOUTUBE. I can't make it always about ME. Even as much as I'd love for it to be! In reality, we should never be in the YOUTUBE, but I tend to crawl up there and get cozy way too often!

Someone once said motherhood is the greatest sacrifice a woman will ever make. Sounds great. I don't know if it is or not, but I do know that it's WAY up there. But I think more importantly, it all really boils down to LOVE. Love is the greatest sacrifice. Love is about putting someone else above yourself. Ouch. Self-denail is not fun. At least not for me! It's easy to do when I feel like it or feel ready to do it. But unfortunately, it's usually when most of us are right smack dab in the fire when love is needed the most. When it BURNS!

I am so grateful motherhood hasn't required that real burning from me yet. I've felt the heat here and there, but not the FIRE. But one day, I'm sure I will. If I don't, I'll never grow. At least not to my potential.

However, LIFE has required this of me. And trust me, there have been MANY times where I've yelled up at God about various scenarios, I'm not READY for this! Or, Hey! I wasn't READY for that!

And guess what he's yelled back at me?

Then GET ready!

Gee, thanks.

If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done. - Ecclesiastes 11:4