Cub Hug

We move day to day like fall leaves scattering across busy sidewalks. We're in motion. Sometimes with purpose. Sometimes just floating. But on the go. It's called Motherhood, and even before we were blessed with such a title, it could be known as womanhood.

It's innate. To go. To keep moving. Even when every cell in our body is boycotting for us to be still.

Sometimes we just go because if we stop, we just might crumble. Or cry. Or stop forever. Or be completely puzzled by what to do with ourselves. So the appointments pile up. The meeting over here, play dates there, this errand and that one, push push pushing...

Then something extraordinary happens. Something so simple and lovely that forces us to stop and smile. Something so beautiful that only a moment can capture, too great for time.

I was driving all over the place. A to-do list of errands. Brushing past crowds of people, grabbing this off of that shelf and sliding my credit card here and there. Hopping in and out of my car. Watching the clock as if I actually could control time. And hurrying, because that's what I do.

When I finally got to the birthday party where I was headed, gift in hand, rushing because I was already late and Cub and my husband had been there for a while already, I opened the door and saw him. It was my boy. Cub. And he looked up at me with the biggest, happiest eyes, and my heart gushed. Not that it doesn't always flutter when he looks at me. But because amidst my goings and comings, moving through space and too focused to notice what's important in life, he stopped time. Made me inhale love and exhale all the nonsense and senseless stuff we often pile up in our minds.

Being a stay at home mom right now, Cub sees me every day. I know he loves and appreciates me. But because he sees me all the time, I don't get that same demonstrative welcome that daddy gets when he comes home from work. Legs kicking in the air, arms jolting up and down, etc. But that birthday party day, I got it. And it was everything I needed.

His little arms clung to my neck, legs wrapped around my waist like a koala bear, complete with a big slobbery teething bite on the cheek. And I was puddy in his little hands.

I gently folded up that moment, amidst the birthday party cheers and laughter, into the inner pockets of my heart and promised to keep it there forever.