Early mornings are probably one of my favorite times with Cub. It's when he's still in that yummy sleepy state. His face is all mushy from a good night's sleep. He has that cute little half smile and starts to babble in a soft, raspy tone. The sun is also starting to peak through our blinds casting a nice soft glow around the room. And it's just the three of us -- mommy on one side, daddy on the other and Cub in the middle. (He doesn't sleep in our bed, but we always bring him in to feed in the morning and start the day off with some cuddling!) This morning I was enjoying watching Cub roll from one side to the other, touching parts of my face then rolling over and touching daddy's. He was so content being right there in the middle, surrounded by the comfort of both parents. It was a moment oozing with love.
As I watched him in a perfect state of bliss, I wanted the moment to last forever. For me, but more for him. It was one of those mommy moments that makes you wish your child will never experience hurt, heartache, sadness, or any other unpleasant experience. Then I looked over at my husband equally enjoying the moment and it felt so right.
This got me thinking about an article I read recently about arguing in front of your kids. The article was from a psychology website and said children who become very distressed when their parents argue are at the risk of developing a wide range of psychological issues down the road. It also said that these children have higher levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, in their little bodies. Yikes.
Sure it happens to the best of us, disagreements are natural and at times healthy. But all of the articles I've read stress (no pun intended) the need to argue "fair" and smart. Arguing can actually be beneficial for children to witness IF it displays respect, problem-solving and conflict resolution. They don't have to live in a Stepford's wives bubble!
But in that sacred moment this morning I vowed to myself that I want to keep this little boy surrounded by as much love as I can. Starting with the love he witnesses between his parents.
Take a look at two articles I've included below. I'd love to hear your thoughts...
The Dangers of Arguing in Front of Your Kids | Parenting | Disney Family.com
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Arguing In Front of the Children.
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1 comments:
I think healthy, respectful arguing is perfectly fine. Arguing is a normal part of life. It's the "ugly" arguing that is totally unacceptable. I can still remember the ugly arguments my parents had before they divorced, but I know there were more...I just don't remember them because they were "normal".
On another note, and you kind of touched on this yourself, how do you plan on introducing the "bad" parts of life to your kids? I of course want to protect DB from EVERYTHING but I realize this won't serve her well when she decides to venture out into the cold, cruel world on her own (just thinking about that makes me want to cry!!!). I want her to be street smart but not totally jaded. And I don't want her to walk around in fear or being suspicious of everything. I guess it's just a matter of time...you introduce things as you deem appropriate. What say you???
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