Free Moments

I'm out. All by myself. An independent woman. Alone. Driving down the street. Listening to the radio. Feeling old and out of date for not knowing the latest pop hits. But also relieved because they all suck these days. I have a few free hours to myself. To run errands, shop, do whatever it is I feel like doing. And for a moment I feel like I'm myself again. The me, myself and I self. It feels good if only for a passing moment. I do love the new me and how full my life is now. I am fulfilled. But being out by myself feels liberating. And womanly. I feel beautiful and cool. Someone I'd like to hang around. Chat up at a coffee shop. Then I'm at a coffee shop. Walking in this secret me. I don't need validation. Don't need anybody to look at me or strike up a conversation. I'm bad all by myself! Loving being alone for a few short moments in this day. As I reach for my wallet to pay for the coffee I find a rattle. Then the cap to a bottle. Then something chewy and yucky stuck to the lining of my purse. I am reminded. And tickled that I am a mother. A loved, loving mom of one of the most wonderful little boys. And I feel suddenly needed and assured. I get my coffee and sit down. Taking in the fun, freeing atmosphere. Slipping back into an alone but perfectly content moment. Then I reach into my pocket. Something's crunching. I feel crumbs. I pull out the crunchy fragile shell of a former Pepperidge Farm Goldfish. There's no escaping it. I am a mother. And that alone makes me feel even more attractive and sexy. All by myself.