A Note to the Twins

Dear Twins,

Next time you decide to jump ship and leave me hanging (literally), can you please give me warning? First it was the Milk Man, now it's you.

I understand you feel used. You've been raw, sore, sucked, pulled, tugged, bitten, inflated, deflated, pumped and lumped. It's been a lot in a very short period of time. I get it. But do you really have to abandon me all together? We weren't working with a lot to begin with, but we got by. We were cool.

Remember back in the day, it'd be you and me struttin' around like we were somethin'? I never just had you all out there like some women. I gave you some freedom, but you also had boundaries. I tried to frame you well without being too obvious. I even dressed you in fine linen and sorts. We had it pretty good, right?

Even when you first came out, I was so proud of you! We weren't the envy of all women, but you were mine. Petite, cute and mine. We were a good match. True buddies.

But now I might as well start boarding up the windows. It's an empty house here. A breast foreclosure.

So don't be mad if one day you happen to come by and see that you've been upgraded and replaced! Hey, it's fair game.

For now, I'll leave the light on and hope that you come back. Pleassssseee come back!

Hello, Good-Bye

Today I shall wear black in mourning.

I really would if it wasn't so hot out.

My friend came this morning. She's been dropping hints that she was coming by soon but after no sign of her, I figured she was bluffing. I haven't heard from her in over a year, then just like that, she shows up this morning. Like, "Hey, Girlfriend! I'm here!!" Luckily, I was at home and not at work, or at the grocery store or somewhere trying to look cute.

Now that she's in town, I decided that it's probably fitting to officially kiss the Milk Man good-bye. Remember, he was starting to break up with me a few weeks ago anyway. So why not break up with him first? Isn't that how we like to roll ladies?

But I'm sad. I really didn't think it would be this hard. There were so many times months ago where I wanted to boot him out the door and slam it behind him. And here I am now, softly breaking up with him with a heavy heart. My own Dear John letter.

And of course since my girlfriend didn't give me proper warning, I don't have the house ready for her stay. Like clean sheets, for her to fall on, etc. ;-) I do still have the massive hospital "pillows" left over from her cousin. Guess those will have to do until I can run to the store.

My girlfriend's return is a nice reminder that more Cubs are possible... and even more possible than ever now if careful precautions are not taken. While more is merrier, I think we'll try to enjoy THIS CUB for a while longer!

Welcome home.

(By the way, do you like the "abstract" portrait of my friend?! I was inspired by Snake Boy)

Boobifier

Cub's back to crying again. And it's my fault.

I've created a suckling monster.

He was doing so well with sleep training and then I stepped in with my Super Mom cape and tried to save the day a few nights ago by nursing him to sleep.
We have now regressed, temporarily...

Not because I did this once, but because I've done it, oh, let's say a few more times too. I know, I know. But he's teething! So when he woke up crying at 11 PM the other night, which is unusual considering he's been sleeping through the night for over a month now, I was concerned. But a little too anxious to run in and offer him boob.

We also recently switched his formula and he's been trying out new solids, so there's no telling what could be going on with him. Any of the above could be keeping him up.

Technically, I believe you're not advised to reinforce sleep training while a baby's teeth are cutting through the gums or if the baby is sick, and neither are the case for him. So there was really no reason for me to run in to the rescue, other than he was crying pretty hard and I just couldn't stand to lay in bed for longer than a minute (literally one minute) and let him suffer! Yeah, I know, he's not suffering, but that's what it feels like to me!

So here we are now, day 1, 2 and 3 of the boob. It's no wonder why he's SCREAMING when I put him down in the crib and then leave -- without the boob!

A little crying is bearable. But these screams sound like "MAAAA MAAAAAAAAAA!" Which makes it even worse! Of course he hasn't officially spoken, "mama" yet. (Although he does babble off lots of "Dada's" -- go figure!) But whenever he's REALLY upset he whips out this "MAAAA MAAAAA!" Just to break me down! And it works. It's that shaky voiced, "MAAA MAAAAA". You know the one that quivers and gasps for air?! The Mom-Get-Your-Butt-In-Here-Right-Now-And-Save-Me-Or-Else-I'll-Be-Eaten-By-Green-Martians-And-You'll-Never-See-Me-Again Mama!!

The problem really is me. Ugh, humility is so over-rated!

You see, a big part of me LIKES being the boobifier. It calms him. Which calms me. Which makes me feel like a good mama. And what mommy doesn't want to be a good mama?! I also get to watch him fall asleep. Which is a rare special treat these days since he's all "grown up" now and usually falls asleep on his own. And hey, I have limited time left on this nursing clock! I want to cherish every little last moment.

But the bigger problem is, I've now confused him. Instead of being a good mama, I've become a confusing mama. He doesn't know whether he has to put himself to sleep or if mama's going to come in with the boobifier. So now he just keeps on crying... excuse me, SCREAMING, "MAAA MAAAAA!"

My husband reminded me that I can't always try to be Mommy-Fix-It. Cub has to learn to do things on his own and his confidence and comfort level will build as a result of it. Afterall, we definitely don't want a needy mama's boy.

And I get that.

But in the meantime, what am I to do with the MOMMY-GET-YOUR-BUTT-IN-HERES?! What if Green Martians really are eating him? Wouldn't a good mama go in and save him?

The Milk Man

He's leaving me. There's nothing I can do about it. I cannot beg him to stay. I cannot grab onto his ankles and try to keep him. He's going.

I can't plead with him. Can't tell him all the things I did wrong. How I took him for granted. How I should have been more welcoming. How we could've worked it out for longer.

He was good to me. Came right on time. Never failed me. He gave a lot. Sometimes too much, and I couldn't take it.

He is good to my kid too. Cub loves him. How am I going to break this sad news to Cub? They bonded. Cub looks forward to him. Cub smiles after seeing him. Cub needs him.

I'm sure there are a few more last minute tricks I can do to get him to stay longer. But I know the day is coming soon that he will be gone. What a sad day that will be.

My milk is drying up, yall!! Sniff, sniff...