TV is Evil

I'm not one of those parents that "doesn't believe in TV" for children. TV has tutored Cub with his counting, letters, and words. I'm grateful for TV. The "right" TV -- Sesame Street, Super Why!, and any other strictly educational television programs for toddlers.

However, this morning I let Cub watch a little "too much" TV. I had to make phone calls and take care of a few things so I thought, "It won't hurt if he watches a little more..." And on I went making my phone calls and doing my tasks, even though all along I started feeling guilty. Dirty. Like a naughty parent for letting my child sit in front of the idiot box, glued.

Soon enough, we had to run some errands so I was able to pull him away and get out. We went to a little storytime at the local library, played a little bit then came home -- with one of his favorite videos from the library. Naturally he wanted to watch it immediately. It was close to nap time but I thought, heck, I'll pop it in and let him watch while he eats lunch in his highchair.

Lunch is over. The video is over. Perfect time for nap. Cub seems totally fine. Then wham! Out of nowhere SUPER TANTRUM FIT. I first thought it was teething, so I gave him some teething tablets and gel and tried to comfort him, even read a story. But he started screaming so loud, at ranges Mariah Carey can't even hit, I'm sure someone outside was considering calling CPS. I tried to stay calm. But it spiraled into a bigger tantrum.

Finally, I took him out of his room and went back to the living room -- where the TV is. And he got quiet. I thought, out of exhaustion, maybe I can turn on CNN just to have the TV on and he'll get bored and fall asleep in my arms. But NO! He was not falling for that trick. And on went the screaming. I finally turned to PBS kids and Sesame Street was on and out popped an angel. He was quiet, happy, calm. I turned back to Anderson Cooper one more time to test this. And out came the screams and tears again. Back to Sesame Street, angel.

Long story short, I did allow him to complete Sesame Street then whisked him away, kicking and screaming, convulsing, and forced myself to rock him to sleep no matter how long it took. And finally, it worked.

Never again. I am definitely setting TV limits! Or hiding it!

Cooler

I'm back in high school. Or maybe middle school. Probably both. That stage in life where you're walking around constantly obsessing over if someone likes you or not. Questioning every look, reaction, and response. What did that blink mean? What did that yawn mean? Why did they look away? What do they see? What are they looking at? What's wrong with me? Those Marcia, Marcia, Marcia moments from the Brady Bunch!

And that someone is Cub.

I saw an episode of Cougar Town the other day (don't ask!) and there was a scene where one of the friends called desperately for advice because she feared her baby didn't like her. The main character suggested they go out and get the baby chocolate ice cream so he can like his mom again. And it worked! I thought, that insecurity must be pretty common if someone thought to put it in a script.

Maybe it's part of that whole mommy guilt thing. We know there are moments when we're not being the best mom so we get all insecure and ashamed and start doing anything and everything to win back that acceptance. I'm saying "we" but maybe it's just me!

Today I'm pushing Cub on a swing at the park. In my head I'm thinking "how long are we really going to stay on this swing?" Then Cub looks at the other mommy making goofy faces at her baby in the next swing and I start thinking, "Am I horrible mom for feeling bored right now? Is Cub wishing that other mom was his mom?" So then I start pushing Cub higher and trying different silly faces and sounds to make him laugh. It worked, kind of. But he also had this look in his eye (or so I'm interpreting) that said, "you're fake. You're trying to get my approval right now and I'm not going to give it to you a hundred percent, so settle on this half-smile." And of course the Marcia, Marcia, Marcias start up and the itty bitty shitty committee starts casting their votes on my parenting and I turn into a total head case.

Many moments I find myself drifting off somewhere mentally while playing with Cub and then feeling horrible for not being "present" 24-7. Or I'm watching Cub laugh hysterically with daddy and feel like I'm the biggest crumb for glancing at the clock for the next nap time or bedtime at times when he's with me. A "good" mommy would always have on a smile, have total patience, sing all the kiddie songs (and know the words!), play non-stop, think only about their child and so on, right? Right.

Does this mean I'm totally selfish and self-centered? At times, yes. But also that I'm a normal woman who happens to be a mom too and has needs and desires of her own apart from mommyhood. Dare I admit that?

While at the park today I also saw this dad pushing his kid on another swing. The little girl was perfectly content and the dad wasn't looking at her or trying to coax some giggle out of her. They were just swinging. Simple as that. And I wondered why can't I just swing in moments that I don't feel up to being silly and goofy? Just chill. Relax. Instead of feeling guilty for not being the funnest 24-7 mom in the world? Is it not more weird for Cub to have a mommy fighting desperately for his approval? Or getting a complex for being bored once in a while?

And if I am being selfish, maybe I need to simply acknowledge it, then make a mental switch and keep it moving!

Cub has become more and more aware of his surroundings and emotional environments lately. He's 11 months going on 15! If I'm acting weird, he knows it! No silly smile can hide that. If I'm tense, awkward, nervous, insecure, he's reading into all of it! He may not know what's going on, but he is thinking something's off with mommy. So this year, 2010, I declare will be the year of the Cool. I will be much cooler (not high school or middle school cool), but a cooler cucumber. I will smoke a cool person proverbial joint and just swing. Keep it simple, stupid!

Spacing Out

My loyal readers out there may be noticing that the frequency of my postings are becoming further and further apart. This is not deliberate. Although I did start out of the gate certain that I would maintain at least a daily, if not a couple of times a week, posting schedule. Then reality hit! Ha!

But I do promise you, within my control, I will post at least once a week!

Today's post is about spacing out. Yes! Don't you love that? Who doesn't love just spacing out?
Kids do it all the time. Ever notice a baby or a toddler just zone out? Then you call their name or say something and this little funny smile creeps up on their face, eyes still somewhere far away, until they blink and boom their back to the present.

Us adults used to space out and day dream all the time. Until technology robbed it from us. Now whenever we have moments to space out, we instead go to our iphones, blackberries, laptops or any other gadgets to play around with. But we must reserve time for spacing out!! Or rather, PRESERVE space out time. It's very important.

I hear moms all the time talk about how they don't have any "me" time anymore. Between juggling multiple toddlers, babies, schedules, cooking, cleaning, and every other mommy demand, their personal time is virtually non-existent. So the roaming question is always, how do I create more me time?

Most of us think that "me" time requires going out to get a pedicure, massage or some other form of pampering. And don't get me wrong, I am the queen of pampering! I need a massage like babies need milk. The only problem is, I can't always get one. At least not as often as I'd like to. So where do we dig up this mommy time? Between drop-offs, soccer games, changing diapers, etc etc?

I was talking with a few of my girlfriends the other day about prayer. How prayer has become such a struggle for me. I used to hop out of bed and start my day out with it. But now it's like pulling teething. We all complained that there's just no time for prayer anymore. I'm sure God had a good laugh at that one! Then I remembered all the times I had to get up in the middle of the night to nurse or rock Cub back to sleep. All the moments when I was in a dark room with him asleep in my arms with nothing to do -- except pray. But did I do it? Not, usually. I did do some quality spacing out though. It can actually be quite funny to take in all the random thoughts and images that cross your mind while zoning out. You might come across a high school classmate you haven't thought about or seen since 10th grade!

As my girlfriends and I continued to talk, we all realized there are mini-me moments that we could be taking more advantage of. But instead we find ourselves cramming in little odds and ends of things that don't "have to" be done in that moment. Some of the best mini-me moments are at a red light. When you're stuck waiting and instead of getting on your cell phone or changing the radio station you can just zone out. Tune the world out. And be. You'd be surprised how refreshing 15 seconds of spacing out can be. It's powerful!

So yes, our lives as moms are demanding. And yes, it's very difficult to find me time, but no, it's not impossible. We just need to be more creative and perhaps redefine what "me time" really is. Spacing out has all sorts of benefits. And it's also free!! And can be done anywhere and everywhere. Go ahead, try it!!

It's Raining Cheerios!

I used to work in restaurants as a hostess. It was my teenage gig. A fun little job to meet people, make a little cash and hang out. And of course check out all the cute older boys too!

But there was one particular group of creeping, crawling individuals that I couldn't stand -- the Cheerio kids!

The little stinkers that spread and shed and mushed and gushed, and crunched and munched Cheerios all over the tables, inside the booths, and of course deep into the carpet.

It was always when the restaurant was jammed pack and I was anxiously looking for an open table for some impatient, irritable, hungry couple, that I'd stumble upon the trails left by a Cheerio kid leading me to the one table that was now open but covered in slimy Cheerio-saliva gunk. And since the bus boys were too busy, being that we were slammed, guess who had the privilege of wiping the salmagundi down? Yep, mois.

But now, I have a Cheerio kid. Gulp.

And now I will forever be associated with the secret, or rather, not so secret, Cheerio society.

This afternoon Cub and me were getting fro-yo. (Me eating a tub full of fro-yo covered in goodies I had no business eating, him eating mushed bananas from the toppings section) I brought a safety stash of the big C's in case the banana wasn't going to do it for him. As soon as he caught sight of the flimsy ziplock bag he went nuts! Thrashing and kicking and knocking everything out of the way that stood between him and his Cheerios, pushing the cute, little, devious whole grain snacks all over the freshly mopped floor.

I immediately averted my eyes from the young store clerk that just finished mopping up. I knew her eyes were probably narrowing down at us, concocting some evil scheme to ban all the Cheerio kids from the establishment forever. But there was nothing I could do.

Then there was the CRUNCH.

My official initiation into the Cheerio society. My flip-flops accidentally crunched those little boogers on the floor and I knew it was over.

Sorry, clerk.

The best I could do was clean up the mushy yuck from the table and pray she would forgive me for leaving the trail of Cheerio debris all over her nice shiny floor.

Introducing Guest Mama "Dawn"!!

Hey, Mamas, it affords me great pleasure to introduce our first guest mama, DAWN, to the Baby Knack!

Dawn is a mother of 3 (God bless her soul!) -- 9 months, 3 and 6. Her stories really belong on a reality series. These beautiful children are a -- Dawn, dare I say, a hot mess?? In a hilarious way, of course!! Lol.

Dawn's stories always have my stomach hurting from laughter. Her girls, the 3 and 6 year old, are brilliant, sassy and pickled with a sense of humor. They definitely keep Ms. Dawn on her toes!

Here are some of her stories... (apparently her kids are fixated on the derriere!)

BABY PHAT

Today, I was out shopping for new jeans to celebrate losing more baby weight. While pushing the basket, my 6 year old daughter came up behind me, put BOTH hands on my butt and made my booty shake! All I could say was, "Why?" In which she replied, " I like to see it jiggle". Of course after that I wasn't in a celebratory mood and tried to get out of the store as fast as I could just in case anyone heard her.

BUTT CHEEKS

The other day my 3 year old was undressing with her back toward me. She had on a dress with lots of buttons down the back. Her dad helped with the buttons. When she was able to slide the dress down, she pulled down her undies, exposing her little 3 year old booty and grabbed two handfuls, squeezed, and then looked over her shoulder and said "butt cheeks"! Then started laughing hysterically. All I could do was shake my head. I could see her doing that in front of company!

Apparently Dawn's already preparing to be a grandmother in this story...

DA' KIDZ

So, last night during dinner out of nowhere, my 6 year old daughter asks, Mom what days are you going to be open to watch my kids? I'm thinking Friday will be good for me 'cause I'm going to need to do things like, get my nails done and like my hair. Soooo, how does that sound to you? Are you, like, going to be available or should I bring them another day? She then turns to her dad and says, Dad, if Mom is not available can you watch them for me?

Of course, I was sitting there speechless. I think I told her that I wasn't going to be around because I had my own hair and nail appointment. So my husband replies to her, You can drop the kids off anytime.

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Thanks, Dawn!!

All you other fun mamas out there, please feel free to send me a funny story or two if you have one at HindsWriteProds@gmail.com. I can't post every one, but I'll do my best!!

Love.

Puff the Magic Snack-on

I've been in the FI-AH, ladies!

When it rains, it pours, right?

Remember a few postings ago I was talking about being in the "fire" when life presents situations that get HOT and force us to persevere? Well, I'm in that fire right now. The Refiner's fire. I can't wait to come out of this GOLD! Nothing life-threatening or major, just the little stressors in life that force us to our knees. Fun.

That being said, today my life was saved by Baby Einstein and Baby Puffs, you know those little dissolvable cheerio-like snacks? Cub recently discovered these treats and now he can't get enough of them. What are they hiding in those things, anyway?! They should have a WARNING on the label.

So I was feeling super overwhelmed and exhausted. Wishing moms could take a "sick" or "personal" day. Yeah right! Not because I didn't want to be with Cub. Just to take a tiny moment for myself to collect some of my thoughts and, ok, I'll say it -- pout! (There's a situation I'm dealing with right now that's extremely frustrating and unfortunately nothing seems to be moving it into a better direction, except prayer!)

Anyway, so here I am, overwhelmed, emotional, trying to keep a smile on my face for the little guy, while also trying to cling to every last bit of patience I have, and nothing seems to be satisfying him. The toys he has so much fun with are suddenly boring and stupid. All he wants is mama's attention. Which would be awesome if I didn't have -- dishes piled up to the ceiling, laundry that hasn't been done in centuries, homemade baby food needing to be jarred, not to mention business stuff to handle, and the list goes on and on. Also Cub's been a little more needy lately as he's learning to crawl. He gets easily frustrated and then just wants me to do everything for him. Of course I fall into that trap every time!

So back to Puffs...

Here I am at my wits end, trying to distract Cub with every toy imaginable then I come to it. "Give him puffs and plop him in front of a Baby Einstein video!!" Now before you start throwing rattles at me and telling me what a terrible mother I am -- that's the problem with kids today, their parents use food to manipulate them and the television to babysit them!! Yes, I know! And I agree! It is terrible. But I was desperate, ladies!! Cut me some slack!

And guess what? It worked!! Cub sat in his high chair as content as can be smashing puff snacks into his little mouth and giggling with the Baby Einstein puppets. Voila!

And mommy got to put away all the dishes, jar up the food and... breathe. Ahhh.

I promise not to make a habit out of it!